More tea please

It was not a good day. I am mortified to find that horror of horrors, I may have a bit of a caffeine ‘problem’ and as someone who drinks only green tea, it came as a rather embarrassing shock. Yes, I know green tea contains caffeine but I laboured under the misguided apprehension that the amount concerned was minimal and wouldn’t affect me at all. Hah! After running out of green tea on Tuesday I was more than a little bit peeved but resigned to making do without it until I went shopping again.

Two days later however, I was feeling decidedly out of sorts and trying to sort out designs for this year’s Halloween Selection of cupcakes was rapidly becoming a horrible torture (possibly rather apt considering the subject) instead of the fun it usually is coming up with new ideas. By the time my lovely concerned hubby rang to see how I felt, I was actually feeling very pathetic. My head felt like it was going to explode and I was swinging between feeling too hot and teeth chattering cold. “I’m ill” I wailed “I think I’m coming down with something”

By the time he got home I was even more pathetic (surprisingly it was possible) and ached all over and the poor man was greeted with a banshee wailing at him ‘and to make things worse I’ve run out of green tea’ when he was actually hoping for more of a “hello darling dinners ready”. ‘Hmm’ he said looking at me ‘I think you’ve got caffeine withdrawal’ it’s very hard to narrow your eyes when they are nearly closed anyway but in the circumstances I was quite impressed with my efforts.

Well, it felt impressive from the inside, have a vague notion that from his expression it wasn’t as effective as I thought. I then tried my very best ‘how would you possibly know’ look, with exactly the same dramatic impact as the ‘narrowed eyes’ look achieved. ‘but that’s silly, there’s hardly any caffeine in green tea, can’t be that!’ but whilst on the surface I haughtily dismissed his suggestion, nonetheless, the seed of doubt was sown. I should point out that Himself drinks particularly potent coffee that has the same effect on polished surfaces as paint stripper. One cup and he’s set for the day. Lesser men have been known to twitch continuously for up to 4 days after just a mouthful. I’m quite proud of him really…

It used to be dangerous to own one of those nice helpful family medical encyclopaedias, you could manage to acquire all sorts of weird and wonderful exotic diseases that not 20 seconds ago you had never even knew existed, but now matched EXACTLY all the symptoms you have. Well, I lasted approximately 40 seconds before I caved in completely and furtively opened up today’s equivalent of said evil medical encyclopaedia, the internet. I managed to bravely ignore the more alarming possibilities offered by the pages of a book by requesting the exact information I wanted. After reading just few lines I grudgingly had to accept that hubby’s nonchalant observation was probably right and despite my smugness at never having smoked a cigarette, and only occasionally drinking champagne or the odd glass of fine wine (and just who doesn’t I might ask?), I was to my shame, an addict.

Seems my 8-10 green tea’s a day, made completely the wrong way, with teabags not loose tea and boiling water, have been racking up a nice amount of caffeine thank you very much. But possibly the worst aspect was admitting HE was right. I even tested the theory with a tiny cup and lots of cream (oh to hell with it, I felt rough; I needed the comfort aspect of lovely rich artery clogging double cream) of ‘his’ coffee. Sure enough, the headache cleared, as did the aches and temperature swings and I am reliably informed that dentists can do wonders with tooth enamel these days…
As for the Halloween Cupcakes, I like to think that as l don’t have a dark and dingy garret in the artistic district of Paris, the torture of caffeine withdrawal definitely contributed to my creative output in a positive way.

Filed on: From the Kitchen by: Karen | Friday, 3rd December, 2010 at 9:27 pm | Leave a comment

Furtive Icing Part 1

I am seriously considering hanging up my nozzles and slinking off to a hidden corner somewhere where I can nurse my bruised ego in solitude and quiet reflection

I have always loved baking and decorating cakes. Whether for clients or for school and charity events, I love it. Part of the fun was creating new designs, everyone loves to have a creative free-rein! However, one year I fell in love with a beautifully simple Christmas cake design. I then proceeded to break my own rule and copied it. It featured a robin, and a terracotta flowerpot with a sprig of mistletoe and some fallen oak leaves trailing over the cake, all in sugar paste. To my shame I have long since forgotten the name of it’s creator and the book it featured in has disappeared, so if anyone out there recognizes it and knows who it was I would be really grateful if they could let me know.

But there was always one thing I deliberately avoided and that was royal icing. I hated it with a vengeance and it hated me, I know it did. One particularly trying evening I spent fruitless hours trying to perfect the finish of a royal iced cake that was homework for City and Guilds Sugar craft. It got to about 11.30pm when my now ex husband wandered into the kitchen at great risk of losing life and limb and stood watching me. “What do you want?” I snarled “well” he replied “it’s just an observation, but when you plaster a wall, you hold the scrapper at an angle like this (small demonstration here) and it works” “don’t be so stupid, this is royal icing! You can’t compare this to plaster, its completely different! Now go away and leave me alone!”. Needless to say the minute the door closed on his retreating figure I had to try it, just out of curiosity of course, nothing more.

By the morning, I had most definitely mastered smooth royal icing on top of a cake and it was most DEFINITELY NOT by using the method for plastering walls……………..

So, cake covering in flat royal icing was mastered. Traditional peaked icing on a Christmas cake was not. No matter what I did it still looked awful. Humiliation does not fully cover the descrption of my feelings on this subject, but gets pretty near it. I tried every which way to achieve something that everyone else managed with ease. I know I am a perfectionist but this was getting ridiculous. I could make lifelike flowers and still couldn’t rough peek a Christmas cake. Much worse was to come though. You know those simple little 5 petaled flowers traditionally found on cakes and sold in countless shops the breadth and height of England? You know, the really simple ones? Nope, can’t make them either. In my defense I am left handed and end up with people teaching me right handed methods that I completely screw up, then when I try to undo the ensuing mess and convert it to a left handed way I have to give up, the damage is done.

That excuse was completely removed when I found left handed petal nozzles. Like a drowning man sighting land I ordered them and waited with naive eager anticipation. I should learn by now, I really should. Nozzles arrived, I made up some royal icing, and……………… nothing. If anything even worse than my last efforts as I unthinkingly then tried to use the left handed nozzles in a right handed way. I did nearly manage an ok one, and then a second one was going well until I sneezed. My personal view is that it bears a striking resemblance to the Prince of Wales feathers. Hubby had a more simplistic view, “you cocked that one right up, didn’t you?” were the very words he used I believe.

I have read countless books, watched YouTube tutorials, you name it I have tried it. Then I began to wonder, what if the royal icing I made wasn’t quite right? I used a recipe from my college days, which covers cakes brilliantly, and makes great flood work so theoretically should be fine. I make sure my bowl is squeaky clean with no sign of fat within a hundred yards and I use a beater (squeaky clean too). I used fresh egg whites so decided to try dried egg white powder. Nope, not doing it for me. So, tried Merri white and that’s when it started to get fun.

Filed on: From the Kitchen by: Karen | Wednesday, 24th November, 2010 at 11:23 am | Leave a comment